"Maybe after I pull off /that/ miracle I'll punch out God." -- Sin City

I've been told that naming posts after lines in the movies I review makes them more difficult to navigate, and although that was partially my intent (so you all have to read them ALL >:->), I suppose it's best if I index them or something by title. I'll get around to that one of these days . . . like, when I learn HTML. Which is never. Eh. EDIT: Screw that. Too complicated. I'll just add the titles of the movies to the titles of the posts, but not the most recent post. Just 'cuz.

Frank Miller's Sin City (here's another site) is a digitized love song to the noir flicks of the '40s. It's also damn good. No, scratch that. It's great. It's fudging great. It's the tour de force of cinema. If you don't hate film noir and you can stomach some very graphic violence, see this movie at all costs.

But first, a disclaimer: I have not so much as seen from the street in passing a Frank Miller graphic novel, much less read the Sin City series. The first I heard of this world was two weeks ago when I first saw the trailer on TV. Thus, this review is completely and utterly devoid of all fanboyism, which is good for those of you who are also Sin City virgins but bad you those of you who are devotees and want me to crucify the film for its slight errors (assuming, of course, it has any).

Additionally, this movie is an ultraviolent gorefest with some highly disturbing situations mixed in for good measure. It is the most solidly Rated-R movie I have seen in a long, long time, although it misses the illicit drugs and superfluous naughty language necessary to make it the R archetype. The movie does its violence pretty darn realistically, although the Black/White coloring obscures it just enough to keep it from overwhelming you. For particularly brutal sequences, the camera mercifully switches into pure black/white silhouettes. Clearly, these effects have more primary purposes, but they also tend to make the movie more easily watchable. So, in short: don't watch this if you have a problem with extreme violence.

Let's start with the story. Stories. Three stories of overlapping spheres in Basin City, the quintessential cesspool. Everyone and everything here exhibits corruption on a scale that puts D.C. to shame. The cops, the politicians, and the mafia are the obvious sources of corruption, but the clergy and the, er, women of ill repute (known in some circles as "prostitutes") also contribute (greatly, as it turns out) to the pooling cess. So, Marv (this big guy the size of a great ape) gets framed for killing this prostitute that was nice to him and decides to kill whoever killed her and whoever ordered the kill. Dwight follows his girldfriend's abusive ex-boyfriend into Old Town, the section of the city rules by the whores, and all hell almost breaks lose (fortunately, only the upper three circles get away, and that's not all that much trouble to fix). And finally, John Hartigan decides to sacrifice his life to save "little Nancy Callahan." These three stories have interlocking characters and are told nonlinear with respect to each other. All three are engrossing and use very likeable tough-guys as their protagonists, two of whom are antiheros and one of whom is a regular "Galahad." You can probably guess which goes to which. As a nice little bookend, Josh Hartnett plays the part of a character who shows up in the very first and very last scenes. Saying more would cause spoiling, and my lips are tightly sealed.

The most striking feature of the movie, however, is also probably the one many of you want to go see this: the cinematography. It's Black/White, which is different from Black-and-White in that Black-and-White is a misnomer whereas Black/White is apt. Black-and-White films never have black and they never have white; it's all just a bunch of grays. Sin City, however, toggles between extremes; Robert Rodriguez cracked open his computer and jury-rigged it so that he could turn the contrast up way beyond what the manufacturer intended, if you will. And as you should know from watching the trailer, spots of technicolor break through here and there; Goldie's hair, the cop sirens, a woman's dress, a hooker's eyes. All that makes for some damn beautiful frames, but add to this some innovative and interesting camera angles and movements and you get something that is well and truly art. Take any frame you want and frame it; you've got something that would sell in a gallery exhibition.

Now for the acting. Just about everyone delivered perfectly. There's not really much else to say. Some of it was corny, but then again: some of it was supposed to be. Alexis Bledel was, I feel, the one sore spot here, but she didn't do that badly.

The sound, like everything else, fit wonderfully. The music never took over, but it did its fair share of support. I really liked pretty much all of it. I felt kinda cheated, however, that the awesome song from the trailer wasn't in the movie (it mighta been in the credits, but that hardly counts). Oh well.

Strangely enough, Sin City made me laugh with abandon just about every ten-to-fifteen minutes. In a manner extremely reminiscent of Shakespeare, it hit you with the funny during the moments of greatest tragedy. I can't really give any examples without spoiling, but I can tell you that these little jokes helped lighten the mood. Don't get me wrong: this isn't a tragedy that needs jokes to keep the audience from committing suicide. The bad guys Get Theirs and when the good guys die, they die doing something noble. But the jokes still helped. I left with a smile on my face and a step in my spring.

And if it isn't blatantly obvious from the trailer, this movie is almost as quotable as The Godfather. Every scene has at least one highly memorable line.

Action: 4.5/5 broken tail lights (Very excellent, stylized fighting. By the way: the style was basically "The good guys don't die until they're supposed to," and it works great).
Acting: 4.5/5 silences pistols (So many actors did such a darn good job to make this movie work).
Humor: 4/5 blaring sirens (It affirmed that the movie is a drama and not a tragedy. Oh, and it's really freaking funny from now and then).
Story: 5/5 IVs (Despite the stock situations and expectations that noir brings with it, the movie managed to throw quite an interesting story our way).
Sound: 3.5/5 tar pits (The music was really good and supported the action very well. Docked for not including the song from the trailer).
Visuals: 5/5 katanas (Clearly one of the best parts of the movie, and oh what a part it is).

Overall (not necessarily determined by the above categories): 4.5/5 electric-shaveresque Mercedes' (If this movie doesn't get at least three Oscars, Justice will demand the death of the Academy).